Chaff

As husk from grain does fly, so do thoughts from Ceil

Nothing new, just me being me.

I wrote this when I dated Richard. For him and Valentines day I post it here.

This Happiness

How can I sit still with all this happiness bouncing around inside of me?

I want to dance. One two three pirouette, spin and twirl; kick and whirl

I want to run and play, race to the top of the hill to see what I can see

I want to fly like a swallow. A pretty bird I’ll be. Glide, swoop and swirl.

This silly happiness inside of me is going to bounce me right out the door

What am I gonna to do with this giddy thing? I feel like a child I’m so alive

It tickles my ribs. I want to laugh and giggle while rolling on the floor

If I did, do you think anyone would guess that I’m in love at sixty-five?

Where Am I?

Ceil De Young Elliot

I’ve been good and I’ve been bad

But I’ve always been me

I’ve been depressed and in a fog

Yet, I was inside somewhere still

I’ve been in love flown high

Until I touched the sky

I’ve known fear as I crashed

Felt the sting of coming back

Been stubborn, defiant, strong

Sensitive, caring and weak

Thought I was lost there for a while

Some say I was crazy in the head

Naw, couldn’t be, that wasn’t me

But where was I? Could I be found?

Looked into the eyes of others

Trying to find me. I wasn’t there.

Tried to lie, say I didn’t care, but I did

Felt a tug from somewhere deep inside

Looked in my heart and I was there

Where I’d always been, just being me

Where do Dreams come from?

While dreams may not always make sense to us, the emotions we experience with them are real and honest.

In a recent dream, I found my old rusty truck running. It was just sitting there idling. Perhaps that is prophetic and Henry really will get it fixed soon. But what I felt was that Edward was close by and I missed him. There was an longing for him, as in the days after he shot himself. I can tell myself and others, that I don’t miss him any more but my dreams do not lie.

That longing is more than being married and having a man to hold me can satisfy—it is Edward I miss. Still I would not wish him back. Nor would I wish Richard away.

More word to come